Merry Fucking Christmas. Ho Ho Ho and all that garbage.

Ok, I am the farthest thing from a "Scrooge" or a "Grinch" that you'll ever see. I LOVE Christmas. I LOVE giving gifts. I love everything about the holiday. I even LIKE to go see our families! *gasp!*

Here's what I don't like, and what I can do without:
1) Traffic. Seriously, learn how to fucking drive. And out of staters who come here for our glorious tax free food and clothing----U TURNS ARE ILLEGAL IN PA. STOP DOING THEM IMMEDIATELY. Also, use the turn signals your car was equipped with. And, please invest in some sort of GPS unit, so you are not constantly slamming on your breaks at every single possible entrance to a store/mall/plaza. And quit cutting me off in the lanes just because you don't know where you're supposed to be.

2) Asshatty DoucheBag shoppers. If it's in my cart, YES I PLAN TO BUY IT. No, I DON'T CARE that you "can't find one anywhere" or that "it's all my kid asked for" Too fucking bad, and if I see your hands in my cart I swear on the Baby Jesus that I will break every fucking bone in them.

3) Eggnog. Really? Gross. Keep it away from me.

4) Ingrateful assholes who shall remain nameless, who can't buy a fucking CARD for either of my parents (who raised him!) but CAN spend money on our mutual sperm donor. (oh and if you know the nameless wonder, don't tell him what I wrote..no I'm not talking shit, it's nothing I wouldn't say to his face, just don't be a dick, alright?)

5) SNOW. and ICE. Please go away, forever.

6) Fake-nice at "obligatory" parties. If I don't talk to you all year long, why would you think that I want to talk to you now that it's Christmas? Be gone, interloper, you're not cool enough for us.

7) Remakes of Christmas songs. Yes I know there are only so many ones to go around. I don't mind other artists re-interpreting traditional songs like Silent Night, or Frosty, what I don't care for is the 5000 "singers" who suddenly think it's a great idea to cover Wham's "Last Christmas". No, it's not a good idea, and you suck at life.

8) People who can't give you a wish list when you ask for one. Seriously, if I have asked you what you want for Christmas, it's because I want to give you a gift. Not because I want you to buy me one. Please, try to come up with something a little more specific than "ohmygosh I don't want anything at all..........but..maybe something with squirrels or owls on it"

9) People who don't take my wishlist seriously, or tell me "oh that's not a gift". Hey, I take the time to think of some things to suggest, and they are things I either want/need, so if you don't want to get it for me, don't, but don't tell me that I have a ridiculous list full of non gifts. Maybe I LIKE socks!

10) Once again, not naming names...but "people" who don't bring anything ever, but stick their hands out expecting it to be filled with gifts. And then not even trying to disguise the disappointment when you are given something that you think is beneath you. Grow the fuck up, and be happy you got anything at all...because you sure didn't get us anything.


Happy Holidays!

When Lord....when.

Wow, 2 days in a row with the blogging! Calm down peoples, I know how exciting it is.

So, from the title of this blog, I am asking God for a time frame. About what, you ask?

Let me tell you.

Bedtime last night was the standard, 930ish-1000. Went to sleep with no issues at all (for a change). Fast forward to 200 am, where I am rudely awakened from a lovely dream featuring David Duchovny (yeah, I love me some Fox Mulder) by the stabbing pain in my uterus that plagues me, randomly. It was enough to not only wake me from a sound slumber--but have me leap from the bed saying "owowowowowowowowowfuckmeowowowowfuckfuckfuckowowowowow" Took a Lortab. Laid back down, pillow in between legs, gritting teeth, and bargaining with God. As is "God make the pain stop, and I will go to Church this sunday" "God make the pain stop, and I will donate more $$ to the Salvation Army this Christmas" "God make the pain stop, and I will stop being a Class A Bitch to everyone I see".

God did not take me up on any of my offers. At 0315, the pain was still raging. So I took Lortab #2, and was trying to remember if there are dangerous drug interactions with Tylenol 3, as that was going to be the next narcotic I tried to get rid of the pain.

Finally, sleep came back to take me....around 430, I think. I had to get up at 6 for work today, so basically, I feel like the walking dead. I'm still stoned from the Lortab, and everytime I blink my eyes, I have to tell myself to open them back up.

I'm starting to wonder if the 5% chance of losing my uterus is worth getting rid of this pain.
I might call Dr. Genius in Pittsburgh, just to ask his opinion. Maybe he doesn't think there is a risk at all. Maybe I let one of them there Pittsburgh doctors cut my uterine cavity open.

I just don't know.

Tis the season

To want to rip your hair out!

Christmas shopping is stressful time. No one will tell me what they'd like to get, but everyone expects me to pick out the perfect gift because "you know me so well". Gee thanks for the help.
I so love watching my bank account dwindle down to nothing while I am in pursuit of the "perfect gift".

My mother is doing very well. She got the "all clear" to go do whatever it is that she wants, whenever she wants to do it. That's great! She only has to go to shitsburgh every 6 months now, and follow up with a local doctor. More good news!

I'm doing fine, thanks, aside from wanting to stab everyone in the eyeball lately.
Seems I've been eating a steady diet of Bitch McNasty pills, and they are working!

Someday I will actually approach this blog with an idea, or a theme in mind, and then I will have something well thought out written. But today is not that day, my friends, so too bad.

Catching up

So...

Mom's home. She's doing well. She's extremely immuno-suppressed so we have to be very, very careful with her.

She's up and crazy though. No stopping her.

Phil had the flu, then I got sick just as he was getting better, and that was right around when mom came home. So we've been "quaranteened" to my room. We wear masks when we leave my room, and sanitize the shit out of our hands before we touch anything.

Not much going on. Not much at all. Pretty boring.

Getting geared up for the holidays. I need to start my shopping, but of course no one knows what they want. It's always "oh I don't know" "oh you don't have to get me anything" blah blah.

The stressful time is about to begin. I am asking for giftcards this year. To Best Buy. I want a lap top.

Gift cards will help with that.

Anyway.......

Oh..

Lest I forget, I have a class reunion coming up. *ugh*.

Does anyone know any way to lose weight quickly? I'm talking gastric bypass fast, without the messy surgery.

Probably not!

I am SO looking forward to seeing my ex fiancee. *eye roll*

Not much new.

So mom is still in shitsburgh, dad is back down with her, and Phil's sick. Boo sick.

I don't have much going on to talk about....so for your reading pleasure,

http://www.jennepper.com/2009/10/day-i-struck-my-mother-blind-with-my.html


This girl is seriously funny. You won't regret clicking the link.

Transplant, successful! with bonus Gyno visit talk thrown in.

Mom had her stem cell transplant yesterday. It was very fast, and went well, or so I am told.
Hooray!!!! Now she just has to stick it out down there in shitsburgh, until the docs say she can leave.
We're looking at probably a minimum of 15 days, to a maximum of 5 weeks.

She's doing well. Losing her hair, but keeping her spirits up. Yesterday after the transplant was complete, my dad left and went to Giant Eagle, and got her a birthday cake, to celebrate her "new birthday". Mom cried. Dad can be very thoughtful, and romantic and sentimental when he wants to be.

And now for the bonus OB/GYN girlie bits talk!

I had my appointment with my GYN yesterday. He said that he absolutely can take the fibroid out....................wait for it.............................BUT!

a) it's a major procedure.
b) there is a 5% chance that I will lose my uterus.

He said that if Phil and I had a child or two already, then the decision wouldn't be as scary. But since we do not, we really have to think about that risk.
The doctor's flat out advice is to have a child first. He did give me "terms" to look up on WebMD, because he wants me to be as educated as I can be.

The fibroid is between 1 and 2 centimeters smaller than my uterus (which is why they thought it was a duplicate), and it's literally on top of the left portion of my uterus. He told me that he can cut it out, but it will take part of my uterus too. He said that "normally" they are able to "reconstruct" the missing part, BUT in about 5% of cases, they cannot and end up having to REMOVE the uterus too.

That would be extremely devestating to me. So, Phil wants me to call Dr. Genius, but I have to agree to with Dr Hereathome. I want a baby too badly to fuck around with the possibility of losing my baby cage (as Andrea calls it...hehehe).

Dr Hereathome asked about the pain, how frequent it is, how bad it is, etc. He asked if it's something that I just can't tolerate on a day by day basis. I told him I don't have it every day, maybe once or twice a month. He gave me a prescription for Tylenol 3 to take in case the Naprocyn doesn't work.

I pretty much have decided to live with this for the next couple of years. Like I said, I want a baby. I don't want to hurt my chances even more.

Facebook perils, update

So we got a reply. The entire tone of the email was completely different.
The first one smelled like desparation and despair. This one, she must have looked back at what she wrote, and thought "oh damn I sound like a crazy person!", because it was definitely more in tune with a "just want to see how you are" friendly kind of thing.

She apologized if she upset me in any way. That was nice. She also apologized for dumping her marital woes in Phil's lap, and suggested that perhaps she needs counselling to get through her "rough patch". Because she "believes God led me to Dave for a reason". Which is not what she said the other day!!!!!! The other day it was all "I was in love with YOU and I accepted his proposal"

Anyway...she goes on to tell Phil that she and her husband just bought a new house, and they love where they live, and she's so happy that he's happy, and she's glad that what she did, didn't hurt Phil.

*eye roll*

More like, she gets that he's not interested, and not available, so she needs to back peddle that shit out.

Oh well.

I do find it funny. Phil, who really doesn't have much dating experience....only 2 other "serious" girlfriends other than me...and HE'S the one that gets all the "ex files" contacting him!!!!! LOL

Thank God none of my previous relationship mistakes have decided to contact me.


Oh, and it snowed.
I hate snow.

But we'll be going to fall fest this weekend! Yay!

The perils of Facebook

Tuesday we logged into Phil's Facebook account. There was an email from a girl he used to "mess around with". She wasn't his girlfriend, because she had a boyfriend at the time. Well she says that she contemplated contacting him for a while, but then "couldn't resist". She wanted to know how he was, what he was up to, if he was married, blah blah blah.

So, Phil asked me to type a reply back to her. It was very short. Basically we said "I got my teaching certifcation and am currently subbing. I have a great girlfriend whom I plan to marry one day soon. How are you? kids?"

Yesterday we get a NOVEL back from the girl. In which she tells Phil how in love with him she was (and still is). She berates herself for choosing her boyfriend over Phil, in fact her words were "I was in love with YOU and accepted HIS proposal, what was I thinking?". She goes on to say that she has a child, and he's the best thing she ever did. (Honestly, good for her, I was happy to see that) But then she says "I'm so glad you have a great girlfriend. I'm happy that YOU are happy at least". She says that her marriage sucks, because she hasn't been able to stop thinking of Phil, after all these years (seven to be exact). She's "not content and unhappy in her marriage". "Things have not been great lately" and she was "sorry you have to hear about it".

Then she starts asking about me. What do I do? Do we live together? How long have we been together?

Then she says she never felt like they had "closure". She asked him if she "hurt him bad" or "not at all". She says she believes he felt the same way as she did, back then, and that they had a "CONNECTION", and that she has never felt that with anyone else.

Yeah. So color me jealous. I don't LIKE it that some random chick from his past has decided to "test the waters". That's what social networking sites are though...a conduit to your past, to the times when you THOUGHT you were happier than you are now.

This in a nutshell is what we wrote back to her:

Basically, Phil said that he was sorry she was unhappy, but that what they had was way in the past, and there is no sense in going back. He said that no she didn't hurt him badly, because when he figured out she was never going to break up with her boyfriend, he already started moving on. He said she needs to direct the focus she's been giving to him, back into her marriage. He said that he and I have been together for 6 years and he's never been happier. He told her that while yes, there was a connection, it wasn't a real relationship. He said that he found a true connection with me, and that if she looks hard enough, she'll find the connection with her husband.

Pretty much we tried to spell out that he was not interested in "picking things back up".


Closure is such a selfish thing I think. I used to be BIG on closure, but it really doesn't solve anything. I think when you break up with someone, or someone breaks up with you, be it friend, or lover, you pretty much have the answers you seek. For whatever reason, that person, does not want to be with you. And vice versa. That's really all you need to know. There doesn't have to be this soul searching epiphany. Move on with your life, be present in the relationship you are in. Especially if you're in a marriage.

Personally, I learned this lesson the hard way. I harbored a huge grudge against my high school boyfriend. We were supposed to get married, he gave me a ring, asked me on bended knee, yadda yadda. He joined the Army, he met his now wife there. I was hurt, and blindsided, and unaccepting of the way it was. Was he wrong to cheat? Of course. Was it meant to be with him and her? Of course. They are happy, and have 2 kids, and you know what?? 13 yrs later, I am really happy for them. I know that life worked out the way it was supposed to. I wanted "closure" for a long time. But, I eventually realized what I wanted as closure was the opportunity to yell at him for hurting me. To try to hurt him the way he hurt me. That was never going to happen. He moved on! He didn't owe me anything, and he wouldn't have cared if we did get into it. In fact, we did once. At a bar, when he first came back home, after moving with her after his service was up. She wasn't there, and they weren't married yet....and all we did was yell at each other outside. There was no resolution. No explanation. Just anger and hateful words. It could have been avoided if I had just realized that sometimes, life sucks, and you get your heart broken. What does all of this mean? It means make a clean break, and embrace the road your life is taking. Closure is only for one person in the relationship, because the other person has already moved on.

This girl, really needs to get her head out of the past, and focus on her family.
I told Phil that to me, it seems like she wanted the security her husband could give her, but wanted the excitement she found with Phil. Phil told me that their entire "relationship" lasted a couple of months, and that all they ever did was "mess around". No sex. So, it seems like she has built this huge torrid star crossed lovers affair in her mind, because she's dis-satisfied in her marriage.

I feel bad for her. If she has truly held part of herself back from her husband, because of some misguided "feelings" for Phil, then she's really fucked up her life.

She said in the email that there has not been a week, or a day when she hasn't thought about Phil, and what might have been.
I think it's normal to think about your past, and to wonder maybe where that person is today, but I don't think it's normal to constantly think about how great your life might have been. I think she probably has a pretty good life, she just can't see the forest for the trees.

I also wonder if she's suffering from some kind of post partum depression. Her child is 17 months old.

Anyway. Long, long story, but the bottom line is: Closure is for one person, because the other person has already moved on. I hope this girl moves the hell on.

Mom mom mom and more Mom

The weekend was.....meh.
Mom spiked a fever on Friday. When I got home from work, she was laying on the couch, and she does that most every day, but I knew that there was something wrong. I was like "Mom?? What's going on?" and she looked at me and said "Nik, I don't feel right"
She said she'd been taking her temperature every 15 minutes, and she was flirting with 100.
After I got home, I had her take it again, and she was 100.3. 100.5 was the danger zone, per her doc in pittsburgh.

So I told my dad to call, Jen, the organ transplant coordinator/nurse. I told my mom to get out from under the blankets, and to take her temp again.
Still 100.3. Dad had Jen on the phone, and she asked to talk to mom. Mom said "I don't feel very good" and then she stuck the thermometer back in her mouth. 100.2. Jen said "I'm calling the doctor, I want you to take your temp every 3 minutes and write it down, until I call you back".

I told my dad, "better get some stuff ready, I think we're going to the hospital." He was in denial, as always.
So, we recorded temps of 100.1, 100.3, 100.4, and 100.7, and then Jen called back. Mom read off all the numbers, and Jen said "Deb, you need to go to the ER, they will give you antibiotics, and then we'll transport you down here".

Mom got off the phone and said "we need to pack a bag".
Dad freaked out.

Mom and I went upstairs to pack, and I called Phil, and told him he needed to leave the gym, like NOW.

Mom and dad left for the ER, and Phil and I followed. We didn't know how fast or slow this would be, so we were trying to figure out how we were going to get Dad's car home, because he was going to ride in the ambulance with mom.

We got to the ER, and Phil and I were there until 10pm. Phil and my dad ended up running home and dropping off the car, and picking up those things they forgot. Jason came down, and visited a while.

Finally mom said "you guys don't have to stay, we'll call you when we get to Pittsburgh"
They called at 3 am.

Mom was admitted to Shadyside hospital and stayed there until yesterday. They did her stem cell harvest, and they got more than they needed, thank god. Phil and I picked them up yesterday and brought them home. They were tired!!

Mom ended up needing a platelet transfusion. That wasn't entirely unexpected. She's much better now. Pretty fatigued, but good. No fevers.

They will leave again on the 20th. Mom will be admitted to Shadyside (again), and they will give her another round of chemo. On the 21st, she gets the stem cell transplant, and she is going to be there until the doctor tells her she can come home.

My dog was so confused. When we brought my parents home he was SO excited! He brought mom every toy he owned. It was so cute.

Read the most hilarious blog today

http://myhusbandisannoying.com/

Seriously. Too funny. This woman's descriptions of her husband's quirks had me loling.
He's a good sport about it, too.

It made me think about Me and P. He can be sooooo annoying, but I still love him. I love him and his retardedness. I love him in spite of it. And let's face it, I'm no peach either. I can be annoying too. No, really I can be. Really.

But, since this is my blog, I'll be listing HIS annoying quirks. Ok, maybe a couple of mine, too.

1) He has to be validated every time he speaks. No matter what he says, it must be aknowledged.
For example: P: "I like oatmeal" me: no response P: "I really like oatmeal" me: nothing P: "Baby, I like oatmeal" me: eye flick to his face, then back to what I'm doing P: "I like oatmeal, baby, did you hear me?" me: "YES. so what?" P: "you dont have to get mad."

2) He has an inablity to make or commit to a decision. It's so stressful for him, that he'll go on and on and on about it for hours. "Should I go to the gym today? I don't know if I want to. But I need to. Maybe I'll go. What if there's no one there to shoot baskets with? Maybe I should skip it" etc, etc, etc.

3) He NEVER lets anything go. EVER.
Seriously, never. He will bring shit up from 4 yrs ago, and get just as upset about it.

4) He gets singularly obsessed with things. Right now it's his DUI and all the trouble it's brought. I have to listen to him bitch about beer commercials, bars, other drivers on the road, cops, judges, lawyers, it's exhausting. And frustrating, when he brought it on himself in the first place.

5) He is a rabid basketball fan. I am not so much. He seems to think that making all our conversations about Lebron James is going to make me a fan. It's not. It only makes me hate it more.

6) He leaves shit laying around. His clothes, his shoes, his games, his dishes. I am not his mother.

Ok. That's enough annoying things about P. Here's some of the shit he has to put up with.

1) I get irritated very easily. I can go from nice to bitch in about 2 seconds.
2) I have a certain way I like to do things. If he deviates from that, he gets the "fine, I'll just do it myself"
3) I am bossy.
4) I refuse to eat hamburgers without cheese on them. If I order a cheeseburger and they do not put cheese on it, I will throw a tantrum, and throw the food away. Which has prompted him to have me do the "bag check" while we're still at McDonald's, so he can just take it in and say "I ordered a cheeseburger"....and yeah, I make him go in.
5) I don't like to phone in orders for take out. That's P's job.
6) I like to make the bed.......every day. And by make the bed I mean, I will pull the sheets and blankets out, and retuck them. He hates to make the bed. He thinks that making the bed is how I punish him for basketball.
(he might be right)
7) I am an eye roller. I roll my eyes all the time...it's kind of a reflex. So when I roll my eyes at him, he says "ok guess I'm stupid then"
8) We both play video games. I have a way I like to play them.
a) if it's a fighting game, like Mortal Kombat, I just press buttons. I don't try to do any of the x,x, square, circle, triangle moves. P does. P gets pissed when he's trying to do that, and my button mashing makes my character (always the girl) kick his character's ass.
b) if it's a story game...I like to do the missions in order. I like to follow the game guide. So he will say "ok tell me what the guide says" and then he doesn't do it! He would rather fuck around and explore the game. When he does this, I get mad and turn off the game. It's annoying for him.
9) I expect him to read my mind, and to just know when he's done or said something that I perceive to be hurtful. It's immature, I know.


So there it is. He's annoying as FUCK, but I love him. I'm a bitch with a capital B and he loves me.
I think that says alot about us. That we work, even though we each have our tics that drive the other one crazy. I'd rather live with P and his annoyingness than ever live without him, and he feels the same way about me.

Oh, did I mention, we are celebrating 6 years together, on the 26th!

News from the Neurologist

My lab work that I had done last month, came back normal!

What does this mean?? It means that I do NOT have antiphospholipid antibody syndrome! The doctor called me, himself, this morning to talk to me about it. He said that I had one level that was still elevated, but not so elevated that I should worry.

He also told me I can stop taking the low dose aspirin a day that I have been taking since July.
I was very happy with that news. I have an appointment to see him in January. I think I'll be seen every 6 months, and have to have an MRI every year just to monitor the spot.

YAY!!!!!

On the other end of my body....I had my familiar pain at 300 am. Woke me out of a dead sleep. It was awful. I had to dig around for my Lortab. And, joy of joys, it was my last one. I called the GYN today to ask for him to call something in. Surprisingly, the nurse called me right back. She said he doesn't get in until 1100, but that she'd give the message right to him, and call me back, before I leave work today. She said if he is going to give me Lortab or Vicodin...I'll have to go to the office and pick up the prescription. Those are controlled substances, you have to physically pick up the script, and take it to the pharmacy. They can't accept faxes. That's fine by me...I just don't want to caught without any pain meds if this happens again tonight

So, got some really good news today, and look...the sun is shining for the first time since last week!

It's October? Already? REALLY??

Well, let's start with mom.

She got her line last week. She says it's uncomfortable, and the dressing is itchy, but she'll deal with it.
She has been going to the RCC every day for blood work, shots and line maintenance.
Not fun, but necessary. Mom and dad go back to Pbgh Sunday, and on Monday they will begin harvesting her stem cells. If they can get 5 million of them, she can come home Monday night. If not..she has to stay, and they will make another pass on Tuesday.
Then she gets "a week off" from having to go Pbgh, she'll still have to go to the RCC, I believe. She also has to take her temperature a lot, because if she goes over 100 she has to go directly to the ER, do not pass go, do not collect $200. From the ER, she will have to be transported to the hospital in Pbgh. So we're hoping for no fevers. If you're sick, don't come over!!!

On the 19th, mom will be admitted to Shadyside, and she'll get more chemo. On the 21st, they will transplant her stem cells, and then we wait.
She will have to stay in the hospital until the doctor says she can leave.

She is pretty much quitting smoking, THANK GOD! She said she knows she won't be able to while she's in the hospital, and she said she'll be sick enough that she won't want to. Dad is cutting back as well...and he started going outside to smoke. So, the house smells clean! It's nice. I hope it lasts.


I have an appointment with my doctor on the 16th, hopefully to schedule when to remove the fibroid. I got a call the other day from the first doctor in Pbgh I saw. I was kind of surprised. Apparently they got a letter from Dr Genius, saying that he believes I could benefit from the removal of the fibriod, but it stops short of actually recommending that I have it removed. It seemed like the office thought I would be making an appointment to see them for this, but I was like "no, Dr Genius said my doctor here could take care of it" We went around in a circle, and finally the lady says "well maybe you should call Dr Genius and just ask him what he wants you to do" I was like "yeah, ok, I'll get right on that."

Anyway.

I'm making headway on the "Get Phil to Agree to Hawaii" front. Turns out his major objection is the flight. He's afraid of flying. Me too! But we can get drunk on the plane!!!
Anyone have any tips on how to conquer that fear?

Monday and Tuesday

Or as I like to call it, "Blah and Blah".
It's cold, windy and rainy. Fast forward 2 or 3 weeks and I'll be saying "it's cold, windy and SNOWY". I hate living north of the equator.

The week so far has brought nothing interesting to report. Mostly annoying ass things. I have to remind myself to be grateful for the things I have, and that's pretty sad.

My parents are leaving for Pittsburgh tomorrow. They'll be back sometime Friday night. So it's just going to be me, Phil and the dog.

I feel guilty about being happy that I'll have the house to myself. I mean, I wish my mother didn't have to have treatment for anything! It's just a reminder that I want to LIVE in my OWN space! Although, me living with the parents is a blessing for them right now. They don't have to foster out the dog, and I'll be there to clean and bring in the mail.

Phil's last DUI class was today. He is happy that he has complied with everything the Judge told him to do. He said he actually learned alot, and thinks that DUI school should be mandatory for anyone BEFORE they get their driver's license. He thinks it would cut back on DUI's.
Maybe he's right? I dont' know. It's nice to have another piece of this situation behind us.

Anyway....again. nothing new to report. blah and blah.

Good news!

My mom told me that my uncle came through his heart cath fine. In fact, she said it showed NO blockages! That's fantastic! So, he still needs surgery, he has a leaky valve that needs to be repaired.
While that stinks...I'm so happy he only has to have that done.

Phil and I had another talk about Hawaii. He's going through the typical male "holy shit this is real" fear. He said it's easy to talk about what you want "in the future" but....now that the future is getting closer, he's panicking. I, personally, think that's normal male behavior and he'll get over it.

We've been talking about ways to help him get over his fear of flying. I suggested we take a trip. Not a long flight...maybe to DC or to Florida, just to "break him in". Hawaii is a long ass flight...but if he gets on a plane and sees it's really not a big deal, I think he'll come around.

Anyway. Off to enjoy another RAINY day.

Let's talk about...Hawaii and the gynecologist.

Who wouldn't want to get married with that as the background???


Hawaii first because it's so much more fun.

Paradise Cove is looking more and more like "the place" every day.
My mom is so EXCITED about this possiblity, I'd almost feel guilty if I told her tomorrow that we changed our minds.

http://www.paradisecovehawaii.com/CustomEvents/weddings.htm


Phil originally was like "maybe" and not wanting to say 100% "yes let's do it there".
Over the weekend he moved into the "probably" catagory. And last night, we were talking about it, and I asked him what was it that was keeping him on the fence..was it that he's not ready, or that he just doesn't want to do it there, or he doesn't want to do it at all?? Surprisingly, his answer was that he's afraid of the flight.
I was like "really??? that's it??? Because we can work on THAT!!"

So....I'm excited.
I think I can almost positively say that we're going to get married in Hawaii!



Now for the unfun part...
My ob/gyn FINALLY got back to me, about my HSG results. I have an office appointment on 10/16 to talk about my options.
I hope one of them is GETTING IT THE FUCK OUT OF ME!

Anyway...back to thinking Happy Hawaii thoughts...

Mom's feeling better...

Mom's feeling better, and that's good. Today is also her birthday. I hope she likes the gift bag I left for her.

I got her a jogging suit (she asked for one), and two knit caps for days when she doesn't want to wear her wig. (also asked for) One is just a plan, tan, wooly/knit cap,and the other is a Cleveland Browns one. That one will go down to the hospital with her. She's crazy. She's completely serious about wearing mostly Browns gear while she is forced to live in Pittsburgh. That's my mom.

Today my Uncle Steve is having a heart cath. I know that his family is very anxious and scared. I pray that God gives them all the strength to make it through the day, and to handle whatever news the cardiologist gives them. Uncle Steve is a tough guy, and he WILL be ok. I completely empathize with the fear his family is going through though. My cousin said she didn't want to hear anymore about how it's a routine procedure, because as routine as it may be, it's still his HEART.

She's right.

When you are going through a medical emergency as the patient, or as the loved one of a patient, the last thing you want to hear is "oh that's routine, don't worry'.
Not worrying is not a possiblity. Anytime the word "procedure" is mentioned, I get a cold chill, whether it's related to me, or someone I love. Shit is scary. Let us be afraid. Just be there to listen, or give hugs, or cook a meal...or to let us cry.

In the end, everything is up to God, and it's all in His hands.....and just because we might be afraid of what lies ahead, doesn't mean we don't have faith. It means we're human and we don't want the ones we love to suffer.

My cousin also said "can't we just put our parents in a bubble?".

I wish we could.

Happy Birthday Mom.
Good luck Uncle Steve.

Mom's schedule changed

Mom has a cold, because my douchebag brother doesn't seem to understand what "compromised immune system" means.

So, the doctor has refused to place the port this week, or to do the chemo, because he doesn't want to compromise her immune system more. Everything has been pushed back a week.

So, instead of mom and dad leaving on the 23rd, they are leaving on the 30th.


My uncle has to have open heart surgery. So, if anyone reading this is the praying type, prayers for a safe and speedy recovery for him would be greatly appreciated.

Because I was told to..

Because I was told to update my blog (thanks Karen), I am updating.

Nothing special or fun has happened to me. I spent a week at Phil's, it was nice :)

Last night Phil and I went out to dinner with Karin at Outback, which was also nice.

Mom had a full day of testing on Friday. She had to have another bone marrow biopsy, and she said it was not terrible. She said the nurse that did it was better than the doctor in Erie that did it. So that is saying alot.

My mom and dad go back down to Pittsburgh on Wednesday, and they are staying that night and Thursday. She's having a port put in, and then they are giving her chemo.

She will be home on Friday. She will go back on Oct 5...where they will harvest her stem cells. Back to Pittsburgh on Oct 12, for more chemo, and then on the 15th, she gets her stem cells back.
So...prayers will be much appreciated.

Ugh

Have you ever been so sick, your pinky toes hurt?


I am that sick. I didn't go to work yesterday, but I have a car payment, so I dragged ass in today. I am not sure how this is going to go...with me rushing to the bathroom every 10 minutes.

My very helpful PCP told me to "ride it out". Waste of a co pay.

Anyway. Happy Tuesday.

TGIF

TGIF Indeed.

Without getting into too much detail my day did not start out well. Had a bit of nastiness that left me in tears, in front of my boss.

Long story short, he's got my back, and everything's ok, but man did that put a damper on my day.
It's cloudy and cold and will be raining too, so yay summer!

Phil's mom and dad leave for a weeklong trip on sunday, so we'll be spending the week together. It should be very nice.

I have no plans for the weekend, and that's how I like it. Video games, kittens, walking the dog, and just vegging out. Sounds good to me.

Anyway, boring today, I know, but sometimes boring is good.

Mom's news.....I hope I got it right..

So, my mom is going down to P-burgh, on the 17th...or is it the 18th? to get a port put in, because, yes, she needs to have real-deal chemo now. They told her that she will lose her hair, and she was very upset about it.





I think that made it really, really, real for her. I told her she'd be cute bald, because she could totally pull it off. Phil said he'd shave his head and be bald with her. So did my Uncle Pat.


Dad said he wasn't doing it, because he has a "funny bump" on his head that he doesn't want everyone to see.


I said I wasn't going to because I just like my hair too much. Really, if you've ever had a haircut by Karin, you wouldn't want to shave it either. She does excellent work.





Anyway...after the port, she gets chemo on the 24th and 25th (her birthday, yay). Then on October 5th, she goes back down and they will harvest her stem cells.





On October 12th, she will become a resident of Shadyside, because they will do the transplant, and then she's expected to be there for 3-4 weeks.





She says "14 days". We'll see. My mom is also on the hunt for Cleveland Browns doo-rags, scarves, shirts, hell even underpants, because she said she's not living in Steeler town without her Browns gear.


God help us, my mother is going to start a riot in the hospital.


LOL





It will be good for her though....some good natured ribbing will keep her on her toes and keep her from feeling sorry for herself and moping around. The doctor said her recovery is going come down to attitude. If there is ONE thing my mom has, it's fucking attitude. LOL





There's a lot of stuff she (and we) have to do in between the port going in and her transplant...like she needs to get her hair cut SHORT, and we need to clean the house, REALLY clean it, because once the chemo destroys her immune system...we have to make sure there's no dust, no mold spores, no germs at all getting in here. We got to lock it down like Attica.





So...that in a brief nutshell is what's happening with mom.





Me?? Not so much anything. Waiting for the HSG to go to my Ob/gyn, and waiting for him to schedule me in. I'll keep you all posted on my vag's adventures, as I'm sure you're all on the edges of your respective seats.





Love,


Nikki

It's Saturday!

It's Saturday, the sun's out, my man's here, yesterday was payday, and all is good in the world.


I want to shop, shop, shop, shop, but I can't, can't, can't, can't.

Actually, I informed Phil today that I want to get married next year, that would be in 2010 (he agreed that would be good). I really think we're going to have a Destination Wedding. So, my question for anyone who might be reading this (and I'm sure it's only like 3 or 4 of you)....

Where do you think a good place to go would be?
We go back forth about Vegas, or Mexico..
But then, there's always Puerto Rico, The Domincan Republic, Jamaica, The US Virgin Islands....
Or..
Places like the Napa Valley, or hell, anywhere in the US really.


So...any ideas? Suggestions?

I survived!

Ok, first of all..
Dr Genius, is the best. The test, while uncomfortable, was not really that painful. He was true to his word. Of course I was so worked up over it, that he gave me valium, and well, to be honest, that could be why the test wasn't so bad.

It felt like really nasty menstrual cramps. But it was fast.

Here's the news.

Seems I DO NOT have this mythical duplicate uterus that everyone said I did!!!!!!

Color me very pissed off at this point. He said "Nikki this is GOOD news" but I was so frustrated, overwhelmed, relieved, and HIGH that I was bawling my eyes out. He told me the source of my pain is a fibroid that my doctor here at home can easily handle.

So, we went to Grove City and Phil treated me to a little retail therapy. I would like to say that I bought out the Coach store, but I just came home with new jammies. New Jammies always seems to make me feel better for some reason. (I know Dina agrees!!)

I am having my all too familiar pain today, as I type, and I took a Lortab about 45 minutes ago, so I'm feeling a little bit foggy.

I called my doctor at 7, when the office opened. His nurse called me back at 720....she's relaying the info to him and they will get back to me later today.

I just want this to be OVER! I don't know how they remove a fibroid....laser maybe? But with my luck they'll have to cut it out. So surgery will be my destination after all.

Dr Genius showed me the picture of my uterus. He said as an RE, the picture I have would give him great joy, because my uterus is healthy, my tubes are clear and healthy, and he thinks I'm going to have pregnancies and babies with no trouble at all. So, that's the best news of all.

Next test...my uterus all lit up like broadway.

The hysterosalpingogram is scheduled for Thursday, Sept 3rd.

I cannot put into words how much I am NOT looking forward to this test.

What is a hysterosalpingogram? Well Google tells us this:

A hysterosalpingogram (HSG) is an X-ray test that looks at the inside of the uterus and fallopian tubes and the area around them. It often is done for women who are having a hard time becoming pregnant (infertile).
During a hysterosalpingogram, a dye (contrast material) is put through a thin tube that is put through the vagina and into the uterus. Because the uterus and the fallopian tubes are hooked together, the dye will flow into the fallopian tubes. Pictures are taken using a steady beam of X-ray (fluoroscopy) as the dye passes through the uterus and fallopian tubes. The pictures can show problems such as an injury or abnormal structure of the uterus or fallopian tubes, or a blockage that would prevent an egg moving through a fallopian tube to the uterus. A blockage also could prevent sperm from moving into a fallopian tube and joining (fertilizing) an egg. A hysterosalpingogram also may find problems on the inside of the uterus that prevent a fertilized egg from attaching (implanting) to the uterine wall.

Why It Is Done

A hysterosalpingogram is done to:
Find a blocked fallopian tube. The test often is done for a woman who is having a hard time becoming pregnant. An infection may cause severe scarring of the fallopian tubes and block the tubes, preventing pregnancy. Occasionally the dye used during a hysterosalpingogram will push through and open a blocked tube.
Find problems in the uterus, such as an abnormal shape or structure, an injury, polyps, fibroids, adhesions, or a foreign object in the uterus. These types of problems may cause painful menstrual periods or repeated miscarriages.
See whether surgery to reverse a tubal ligation has been successful.

How To Prepare

Before a hysterosalpingogram, tell your doctor if you:
Are or might be pregnant.
Currently have a pelvic infection (pelvic inflammatory disease) or sexually transmitted disease (such as gonorrhea or chlamydia).
Are allergic to the iodine dye used or any other substance that has iodine. Also tell your doctor if you have asthma, are allergic to any medicines, or have had a serious allergic reaction (anaphylaxis) from any substance (such as the venom from a bee sting or from eating shellfish).
Have any bleeding problems or are taking any blood-thinning medicines, such as aspirin or warfarin (Coumadin).
Have a history of kidney problems or diabetes, especially if you take metformin (Glucophage) to control your diabetes. The dye used during a hysterosalpingogram can cause kidney damage in people with poor kidney function. If you have a history of kidney problems, blood tests (creatinine, blood urea nitrogen) may be done before the hysterosalpingogram to check that your kidneys are working well.
This test should be done 2 to 5 days after your menstrual period has ended to be sure you are not pregnant. It should also be done before you ovulate the next month (unless you are using contraception) to avoid using X-rays during an early pregnancy. You may want to bring along a sanitary napkin to wear after the test because some leakage of the X-ray dye may occur along with slight bleeding.
You may need to sign a consent form that says you understand the risks of a hysterosalpingogram and agree to have the test done. Talk to your health professional about any concerns you have about the need for the test, its risks, how it will be done, or what the results will mean.


How It Is Done

A hysterosalpingogram usually is done by a radiologist in the X-ray room of a hospital or clinic. A radiology technologist and a nurse may help the doctor. A gynecologist or a doctor who specializes in infertility (reproductive endocrinologist) also may help with the test.
Before the test begins, you may get a sedative or ibuprofen (such as Advil) to help you relax and to relax your uterus so it will not cramp during the test. You will need to take off your clothes below the waist and drape a gown around your waist. You will empty your bladder and then lie on your back on an examination table with your feet raised and supported by stirrups. This allows your doctor to look at your genital area.
An X-ray may be taken to make sure that there is nothing in the large intestine (colon) that could block the view of the uterus and fallopian tubes. Sometimes a laxative or enema is given a few hours before the test to empty the large intestine.
Your doctor will put a smooth, curved speculum into your vagina. The speculum gently spreads apart the vaginal walls, allowing him or her to see the inside of the vagina and the cervix. The cervix may be held in place with a clamp called a tenaculum. The cervix is washed with a special soap and a stiff tube (cannula) or a flexible tube (catheter) is put through the cervix into the uterus. The X-ray dye is put through the tube. If the fallopian tubes are open, the dye will flow through them and spill into the belly where it will be absorbed naturally by the body. If a fallopian tube is blocked, the dye will not pass through. The X-ray pictures are shown on a TV monitor during the test. If another view is needed, the examination table may be tilted or you may be asked to change position.
After the test, the cannula or catheter and speculum are removed. This test usually takes 15 to 30 minutes.

How It Feels

You probably will feel some cramping like menstrual cramps during the test. The amount of pain you have depends on what problems the doctor finds and treats during the test.
Risks
There is always a small chance of damage to cells or tissue from being exposed to any radiation, including the low levels of radiation used for this test. The chance of damage from the X-rays is generally very low compared with the potential benefits of the test.
There is a small chance (less than 1 in 100) of a pelvic infection, endometritis, or salpingitis after the test. The chance may be higher for women who have had pelvic infections before. Your doctor may give you antibiotics if he or she thinks you might develop a pelvic infection.
There is a small chance of damaging or puncturing the uterus or fallopian tubes during the test.
There is a small chance of an allergic reaction to the iodine X-ray dye, especially if you are allergic to any shellfish.
In rare cases, if an oil-based dye is used, the oil can leak into the blood. This can cause blockage of blood flow to a section of the lung (pulmonary embolism). Most hysterosalpingogram tests use water-based dyes.
After the test
After the test, some of the dye will leak out of the vagina. You also may have some vaginal bleeding for several days after the test. Call your doctor immediately if you have:
Heavy vaginal bleeding (soak more than one tampon or pad in one hour).
A fever.
Severe belly pain.
Vaginal bleeding that lasts for more than 3 to 4 days.


(source: http://www.webmd.com/infertility-and-reproduction/guide/hysterosalpingogram-21590 WebMD is awesome)


So, that in a nutshell is what's going to happen to me. I have a very low threshold for pain, so I am beyond nervous about this. I know I need to trust Dr. Genius, but I'm still scared.
I might ask him for some ativan or something....advil will not be cutting it.

I have to be at Dr Genius's office by 10am on Thursday. My appointment is for 11. They are going to do a preg test before allowing me to go to radiology to register. Phil will not be allowed to go with me. I know I'm going to be ok, but that doesn't do much for alleviating my fear of the possible pain.

*sigh*

My Knight in Shining Armor, My Hero, The RE, Or,our second trip to Pittsburgh.

I heart my new doctor. I am filled with the lurve for him.



We had our appointment with the RE, on August 4th. The office was very, very nice, and his staff could not have been friendlier. My first specialist, Dr. Ok-but-not-great, told me he was referring me to the 'best guy in the game'. My thoughts were "well ok, it's about time you actually helped me, rather than just violating my most private of private spots with your fingers".



So Dr. Genius (as he will be known), is the HEAD GUY at the infertility clinic where I was. I signed in, 40 minutes early, and a mere 30 minutes later, Dr. Genius comes out to get us HIMSELF. This is unheard of to me!

A DOCTOR who comes out to take HIS OWN patient to the exam room???? Surely, you jest. But, no, he really did.

He spent seriously an hour taking our histories, and going through forms. Since he technically is an infertility specialist, they wanted to know all about Phil too. (which kind of geeked him out)



He asked us if we were currently trying to get pregnant (we are not), and then asked if we ever wanted to. Yes, we do, thanks.

Then he says "well you're not here for infertility, let's talk about this duplicate uterus." He asked me what the pain is like, where it is located, how often it comes...then he says..

"Generally there's not much we can do with this, other than prescribe medication to help you manage the pain"



My face must have turned 5 shades of red, because he said "I take it that was not the news you wanted to hear"

He went through some more of the reports from the other doctors, and then he said "you know what? I want to do an exam, let's take a look at this thing"



10 minutes later, I'm nude from the waist down, and we're doing another transvaginal sonogram. Again, Dr. Genius did the sono HIMSELF. He didn't send me off to some sono tech who might half ass it, HE did it. I was impressed.

He's taking pictures in there, when suddenly he said "oh. well, that changes things"



I FROZE. I said "I can hear you, you know that right??" He said "relax", and finished the sono..

Then he said "the duplication is sitting on top of your working uterus. It's blocked off. It's filling with fluid, and the fluid has no where to go, so that's why you have pain. This is probably going to have to come out after all."



He told me that one of my ovaries seems to be attached to the duplication, and is useless. I cried when he said that. I just thought "I'll never have a baby". He said "This does NOT mean you can't have babies" Dr. Genius and I must have some kind of Vulcan Mind Meld thing going on.



He said I have to have a test called a "hysterosalpingogram", and then I'll have to have a laparoscopy, and when he's actually doing the lap, he'll decide if he wants to just make the incision and take out the duplication. He said basically: The sonogram showed him the problem. The HSG will "light it up" and he'll be 90% sure it has to come out. The lap will make him 100% sure. He said there's a 10% chance that he's wrong, and that's why they do the lap--the camera will absolutely tell him what's in there. My question? "Dr. Genius, why do we have to do the HSG, when you're going to do the lap anyway?"

His answer "we have to do all the tests to rule out all possiblities"



Yay me.



Test is scheduled for Sept. 3. I will freely admit, that I am scared shitless of this test. I have heard horror stories about the pain associated with it.

Dr Genius told me that in all the years he's been at his job, he has never caused a patient pain with the HSG. I am trying to trust him...but years of "oh this won't hurt a bit" followed by my deafening screams, is not dying down easily.

I have to say though, that I am confident in his ablities, and I'm just so damn happy to have finally found a doctor that isn't afraid to touch me.

First visit to Pittsburgh

First of all no offense to any Pittsburghers, but I hate your city. HATE it. I can't stand the traffic, and the layout of the streets, and the SMELL. Ugh.
Oh and I hate your football, baseball, and hockey teams too.

The drive was not fun for me, but thank God for the verizon navigator on Phil's phone.

We make it to the West Penn hospital to see my specialist about 45 minutes early! I was pleased about that. The office was not that hard to find, and the front desk staff was friendly.

I was told that the day I was there was usually the doctor's OR day, and he was coming in to see a handful of patients in between OR times. A nurse took me back to a room...and very kindly offered Phil and I use of the bathroom, since we'd been driving for 2 hrs! Then she took my vitals, and said the doctor would be in "shortly".

"Shortly" in Pittsburgh must mean an hour and a half. I could hear the doctor in the hallway, laughing and joking with everyone, while we sat in an exam room and waited. I was getting a bit irritated. I understand that docs are busy, but over an hour??? I finally opened up the door and stood in the door way, and flagged down a nurse and asked her if they'd forgotten about me.
5 minutes later the PA comes in, to take my history. Another 15 minutes and the doc himself comes in. Nice guy, don't get me wrong. He decides he needs to do an internal, and he also wants an internal sonogram and blood work to rule out cancer. At this point, I have become used to all kinds of strange people looking in my vagina and sticking things in there.

He tells me after my sono I am free to go home, and to call them in a week to talk about the results.

I call and talk to the PA, she said they confirmed my doctors diagnosis of the uterus didelphys, and she tells me my blood work is fine. She said that the doctor wanted to talk to me, and would call me himself within the next 2-3 days.
He actually did! I was floored.

He tells me that he believes surgery is the only way to resolve my pain issue. BUT, he doesn't want to do the surgery. He tells me that the "abnormality" can lead to fertility problems, and because my fertility might be compromised, he was afraid that he might adversely affect what I have left. He refers to me another doctor.
A Reproductive Endocrinologist.

Fighting to get answers, any answers. Or why I am a Genetic Freak.

I left off after being told I need to immediately call my OB/GYN. I call his office and his nurse has no clue what's going on. I was drugged up and frustrated. I said "I want to know what the MRI says, I want to know why ER Doc said I wasn't formed correctly" She says "well we don't have any MRI for you, did you have one done?"



I wanted to throw the phone. I explain to her that I had one done the week prior, and no one called me about it. Again, she tells me that they don't have the results on my chart, and I need to schedule a follow up with the doctor. No shit. I already had another appointment the following week, so I asked if that could just be my appointment and follow up all in one. "Sure" she says. Then she tells me to call them on Monday (this was a friday) to find about the MRI.

I call them and am told that per the doctor NO ONE is discuss the MRI with me, and I am to wait for him to talk to me about it at my appointment. Immediately the worst scenarios are running through my head. "Do I have cancer?" "Am I infertile?" "Am I dying?" and I have a WHOLE WEEK OF THIS to live with.



One week later we get to the doctor, and he gets ready to do my exam (I have a problem with dysplasia every now and then, so this was supposed to be a follow up PAP for one 3 months earlier). He says "so, any questions?"



I just stared at him. I said "Do you have ANY notes at all about me being in the ER last week, and asking about my MRI?"

He leaves the room, and comes back in and apologizes. He said his staff neglected to update my chart after I called the last week. He also didn't have any notes saying that he told me I wasn't to discuss the MRI with anyone other than him.



Here's where it gets interesting.



He tells me that the "mass" in my uterus, is not just a mass. It's a whole OTHER uterus. He says this is not a cancer, it's not life threatening, and it's likely the cause of my pain and discomfort. Uterus didelphys, I guess is the term for it. He says that he sees a case like mine, maybe once every 3 yrs. He said my "abnormality" goes beyond the reach of his experience and he needs to refer to me to an Oncological Gynecologist. The closest one is 2 hrs away. I asked him if I was going to be able to have babies someday. (I'm 33--make that someday SOON). He said "I don't see why not".



So, let's recap.



1) I'm not dying, yay!

2) I should be able to have babies.

3) I have to go to Pittsburgh to see a specialist.

Pelvic MRI, the adventure continues....

I get my MRI done (and if you haven't tried it, I HIGHLY recommend having one, as they are oh so pleasant and comfortable, and the people really, really give a shit if your arms are falling asleep).

Yes, they see the mass, no they can't tell me about it. My OB/GYN has told me that if I get the pain again, I am to call his office, no matter the time or day, and leave a message. The week following my MRI, I get the pain. It's about 5 am, I take some of the left over meds, and try to ride it out until the office opens. The medication (Lortab) did not help. I finally cave and call his answering service at 0630. The very helpful "nurse" tells me she doesn't know why I'm calling there, because there's nothing she can do for me. "Page the doctor, please" I ask her, and her response "I'm looking at his office schedule and he's got nothing available, so just go to the ER".

I have to call Phil, who lives about 30 miles from me, and ask him to come get me, and drive me to the hospital. Thank God this man loves me. I call in to work, and get ready to spend another day in the ER. An internal exam, CAT Scan, and ANOTHER internal sonogram (we're up to 3 of those) later, the doctor thinks it's kidney stones. I said "it is NOT kidney stones, this is an ongoing issue for me, I just had a pelvic MRI last week" Doc leaves room. Doc locates and views MRI. Doc comes back to room and asks me if I have ever been pregnant/do I have children. The answer is no. I begin to feel a little panicky. I ask "WHY?" He tells me that from looking at the MRI, my uterus seems to be formed "incorrectly", and asks me what my GYN plans to do about it. "I don't know," I say, "he has not talked to me about the MRI, yet" The ER Doc then refuses to discuss it further.
I am again loaded up with pain meds, and sent home. I am told to call my OB/GYN immediately.

Let's get this blog started, already

So, 2009 has been a hellava year for me. Not in a good way.

It started with the onset of migraine headaches in February. My doctor sent me for a MRI of my brain, and told me not to worry, it's just to rule out some stuff. She said it would probably come back normal, and then we'd just try some medication.

Well, I have never claimed to be normal, and apparently neither has my brain. They found a tiny spot on the pons of my brain (in the brain stem). So after a weekend of FREAKING OUT, I got a referral to a neurologist. He said it's not a stroke, it's not a tumor, but it did look like an enlarged blood vessel. Had to get another MRI, and a shit load of blood work. Blood work comes back a little wacky, but not to worry, I'm not dying. They suspect I have something called "antiphospholipid antibody syndrome". Treatment= low dose of aspirin a day. Imitrex for migraines. Repeat blood work in September.

Now it's March, and suddenly I am waking up in the middle of the night with this annoying, stabbing kind of pain on my left side towards my groin. I let it go the first time, but when it happened 2 weeks later again at 3 am, I called the doctor. She has me come in for an exam, and thinks I injured myself. Tells me that she can't help me unless I'm presenting with symptoms, but if I DO get symptoms I need to go to the ER. Fast forward to the next week, and I'm in the ER with excruciating pain. Blood tests, sonograms, INTERNAL sonograms, and they have no idea what's wrong. The doctors think I have kidney stones, but there's no evidence of that on the sono or in my blood/urine. The sono does, however show a "mass" in my uterus, so they load me up with pain pills and send me to the OB/GYN.

My GYN decides I must have ovarian cysts, but he wants his own sonogram. So that gets scheduled for 4 weeks out. This was in April, which takes the sono out to May. He says he wants to give it 4 weeks, to let "mother nature" fix it.

4 weeks later, I am in pain again, and having the sonogram, and now they think I'm having an ectopic pregnancy (I wasn't). The mass is more pronounced, and now I'm told that the doc still thinks it is ovarian cysts, but he needs an MRI to be sure.

MRI gets scheduled for June 12.

That's enough for this blog...
I'll post the rest of my adventures in a separate blog, because oh yes, there's more.